And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
