We're facebook friends in real life
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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