guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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