So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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