I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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