Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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