You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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