so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
