how can u be prego again
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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