Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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