that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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