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Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
