The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
