Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
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