By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it's like iHOP with fire
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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