doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
