My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
