Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
