dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
