there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
