I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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