haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
