Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
