I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
