Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
