Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
