yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
