So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
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