woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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