you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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