STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
