Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
