Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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