you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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