I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
