she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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