i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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