Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
you never un-have a 4some
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
