my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize