so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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