On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
