yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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