We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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