i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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