she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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