Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
