We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
