there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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