Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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