before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
