There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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